MADtv__Stuart:_Kidnapped_

Airing Station - Fox\nAiring Date - February 27, 1999\nEpisode - #418\nCast -\nMichael McDonald - Stuart Larkin\nMo Collins - Doreen Larkin\nNicole Sullivan - Harley\'s Girl\nChristian Duguay - Harley\n\nGIRL: Hey, baby.\nHARLEY: Since I sent you for smokes, it\'s been three hours.\nGIRL: Well, somethin\' funny happened to me today. Remember how you and me been wantin\' a baby? Well, I found a baby at the mall.\nHARLEY: Oh, no! You didn\'t!\nGIRL: Honey, don\'t be mad at me! He is beautiful and he is outside and I want him!\nHARLEY: Okay, geez. Bring him in.\nGIRL: K. Okay, come on in, little one, it\'s okay.\nSTUART: You said that you had chickens!\nGIRL: Well, yes, yes, we do have chickens. I will show you them in a minute. Is he just the cutest little orphan?\nHARLEY: No. He don\'t look like no orphan.GIRL: Well, he is an orphan and it is tragic and I want him!\nHARLEY: All right, all right.\nGIRL: Go say \'hi\' to your new daddy.\nSTUART: Don\'t!\nGIRL: Go say \'hi\' to your dadd-\nSTUART: Don\'t!\nGIRL: Just go over and-\nSTUART: Do-on\'t!\nGIRL: Well, he kinda spooks easily. Well, he-he likes food a lot. Offer him some of them chips.\nHARLEY: Okay, dude, you want some chips?\nSTUART: Kettle cooked barbecue! That\'s my favorite! Put them down first.\nHARLEY: Well, he\'s sure got a healthy appetite.\nGIRL: That\'s because he\'s malnourished. He needs us!\nHARLEY: Hey, little fella? You really got no momma?\nSTUART: Um...I wanted to have fast food for lunch, and my mama said, \"What do I say about fast food?\", and I said \"I don\'t wanna say\". And she said \"Say it\", and I said \"Fast food gives you a fast death\". And, and I said \"But I want it anyway\", and she said \"No, and that\'s final\". And then, I locked myself in the station wagon, and she said \"Open up the door, Stuart\", and I said \"No, and that\'s final\". And then she got mad and went inside to get the wooden spoon to give me a spanking, and that\'s when I ran away to the mall.\nHARLEY: I knew it, he\'s no orphan, you have to take it back!\nGIRL: No, baby, I don\'t wanna take him back! Don\'t you see how much happier he is here with us. Aren\'t you, sweetie? Aren\'t you?\nSTUART: Don\'t!\nHARLEY: Looks like you kidnapped yourself a big brat!\nSTUART: You\'re a poopoo. \nHARLEY: That boy kicks me in my own home!\nGIRL: No, Harley, no, Harley! No! . Stuart, would you like to go see those chickens now?\nSTUART: Chickens fascinate me.\nGIRL: Well, they\'re right out there in that yard, so go ahead and take a look.\nSTUART: Move! I need room! Move.\nGIRL: You want me to take him back, don\'t you?\nHARLEY: No, I got a better idea. We ransom him back to his momma, and we use that money to buy us a cuter kid.\nGIRL: Well, that sounds kinda dangerous. Are you sure you just don\'t wanna keep Stuart?\nSTUART: Look what I can do!\nGIRL: How much you think we can get from him?\nDOREEN: Larkin residence. Hello?\nHARLEY: We have Stuart and we want money.\nDOREEN: Well, how much do you want, Mr. Kidnapper?\nHARLEY: $10,000, cash.\nDOREEN: Well, I can only afford 200, and it\'s going to have to be in a personal check.\nHARLEY: Listen lady,either you give a thousand, or your kid gets it.\nDOREEN: Ohahhh Ahh.... I wanna talk to Stuart, make sure he\'s okay. Huh?\nHARLEY: Fine. Stuart, come here. Your mom\'s on the phone.\nSTUART: Well, I don\'t wanna talk to her, and neither does Henny Penny\nGIRL: Stuart, if you talk to your momma, you can get some chips.\nSTUART: Mmm...Jalapeno Pepper and Vinegar with a hint of lime!\nHARLEY: Just tell your mama to get the money.\nSTUART: What\'s that in your mouth?\nHARLEY: A cigarette.\nSTUART: I wanna talk to my mom if I can smoke a cigarette.\nGIRL: Stuart, you really shouldn\'t start smoking until you\'re at least 13.\nSTUART: Rrrgg..\nHARLEY: Here you go, kid. Talk.\nSTUART: Uh... hello?\nDOREEN: Stuart? Honey, it\'s mama! Are you okay? Are you alright?\nSTUART: Yes, I\'m holding a chicken and smoking!\nDOREEN: Well, you better not be smoking, young man. What does mama say about the smoking?\nSTUART: I don\'t wanna say.\nDOREEN: Say it!\nSTUART: I don\'t wanna say!\nHARLEY: Whatever it is, just say it!\nSTUART: Smoking is for Europeans and white trash.\nDOREEN: That\'s right! Now you put out that ciggy!\nSTUART: Okay. \nCOP: Freeze, you\'re under arrest!\nGIRL: Oh, shoot. I just wanted me a baby! Stuart, I will always love you!\nCOP: Yeah, yeah, yeah, take her away.\nHARLEY: So long, brat.\nSTUART: Don\'t!\nCOP: Would you get rid of him? It\'s okay, Stuart, you\'re okay now. Let\'s get you home.\nSTUART: No, I wanna stay and eat chips and talk to the chicken.\nCOP: No, come on. We gotta get you home, your mom is worried.\nSTUART: Ah, my foot is in the phone! Don\'t! I\'m free! I\'m free!\nDOREEN: Well, you sure had a big day.\nSTUART: Uh-huh.\nDOREEN: Mama was very worried. You promise to never run away again?\nSTUART: Uh-huh.\nDOREEN: I love you Stuart, you know that?\nSTUART: Uh-huh.\nDOREEN: Yeah, well good. You like your dinner?\nSTUART: Uh-huh. What\'s in it?

<a href="http://www.jakujam.com/video-fSrokBguZao-MADtv__Stuart:_Kidnapped_">More Free Videos Here</a><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fSrokBguZao"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fSrokBguZao" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>